I love waking up feeling fresh, without worrying if I'm going to share another awquard incounter. Little Joy has had the pleasure to waking me up. Norah Jones helps me cook dinner. I only have 11 more days until I come home to Texas. The 49 days went by so quickly. I've been on such a mental high this past week. In 9 days X'clusive has it's showcase and I am dancing with them. Last Friday was such a great practice, we weed'd out the bad and finally got our dances organized. Next year I'm thinking of choreographing alot more. Here are some of my ideas for some songs.

Apologize- One Republic
Colorblind- Natalie Walker
Hearbreaker- MSTRKRFT
Canned Heat- Jamiroquai
Army of Me- Bjork

I got alot of my plate for the next month. Work, practice, and now I'm helping a friend in one of his scenes and possibly another. I love this!

FML

I think the only thing I left in my body that they can remove from me that I don't truely need is my gallbadler! I'm just waiting until next year to get some news that I need a new liver or something.

I was in the hospital for four days. Now I would consider myself very familar with hospitals since I'm always in them 3-4 times a year but this was truely the most pain I've ever endeered in my life. On wednesday I got out of dance and I thought maybe I was hungry so I ate. I ate an entire pie, I was pretty amazed at myself for that but that isn't the point. Well around seven my stomach still hurt but not horrible and I thought it was just woman problems. I tried to sleep it off but I woke up around midnight needing to puke. I then definately thought it was woman issue just intensified. Two a'clock rolled around and my stomach was rock hard and I felt like someone was stabbing me. I called my mom and she told me to sleep itoff. I couldn't even handle 10 mintutes so she finally called a taxi and this man kindy took me to the hospital and he didn't even charge me. When I got the ER my stomach had traveled to my lower stomach and I was bawling my eyes out. It felt like someone had ripped my stomach open and vultures were eating my insides. After waiting 45 mintutes I was finally looked at (gotta love public hospitals). My blood pressure was really low and my throw up was all red. The doctor gave me morphine and my stomach felt a little better but still very painful. I went to get x-rays, ultra sound (which was really difficult convincing the doctors they won't find a baby andI didn't need one). They couldn't see what was wrong so they scheduled a CAT scan. I hated my life when I had my scan. They injected this liquid that made my body feel like it was burning up and he made me drink this horrible smoothie so I wouldn't throw up. Some doctors came in around 10 AM and said I needed surgery because my appendex had ruptured. Mind you my family is in Texas. I started crying because I was going to have to do this alone. So I called my mama and she said she was coming to Chicago to take care of me. I was very scared for surgery and I was crying the entire time. The nurses made sure to comfort me. I felt like a little brat because the patient next to me was shot four times and the other man had had brain surgery and they found a tumor and here I am crying about a little appendex. Regardless surgery went okay. Actually I take that back, whatever was in appendix (bacteria) pretty much infected my pelvis. One thing after another right? So after surgery (I was very very very silly and relaxed and I was really scared that I couldn't see my mom). Since I got an infection through surgery that meant I couldn't use the restroom and well that was yet another very painful subject. The doctors ordered a cathather and once that was done I peed for 13 mintutes!!!! It was kind of cool, but I was a major major bitch to the nurse because it took them 45 mintutes to help me. I was giving morphine every 3 hours and then my momma came in the doors. I was so happy to see my mom, we shared a bed for the night. I felt bed because it was so tiny.

After being discharged my mom got us a hotel and we just relaxed and I finally got to eat real food. My mom was very upset with my roommates she didn't want to deal with them so we just waited until she calm to go back home which was Saturday. It was really fucking akward with them here because we all know the tension between eachother. It all comes down that my mother isn't being the nicest person because well, let's be frank they are on a different planet. Who asks someone who is throwing up to keep it down? My mom is such a good mom. It finally feels good to have someone take care of you. I have no clue how I would do anything with her. I can't walk, I can't even really get out of bed without a little push. My momma makes me soup and cuts my pills in two because they are friggin huge. And we talk in spanish hehehe. She bought me a nightgown and the miley cyrus breakout cd. Haha of course all kitchen stuff for my new apartment and packed EVERYthing for me. It was really sweet of her, I feel so fortunate. For what I have in Chicago I feel so good, my dance crew always check up on me and a few of my theatre classmates have called me. I don't want my mom to leave. :(

What a long post. Now I'm going to watch Friends and take a nap. Haha, I threw up in IHOP today... and I don't really feel bad about it.

My skin is thicker but not thick enough for Buffalo Bill

My agent and I found an amazing studio yesterday. I couldn't be any more lucky. It has two large closet and a new bathroom. We ran into this one crazy old bitch who made it known only POLISH jews were allowed in the building. My agent got nasty and the little old lady hit is both. I was kind of cute, some 60+ year old lady hitting us with her bundle of grocery bags. I can't even relax in my bathroom let alone stand in the shower without getting disgusted. Our house is 115 years old though so what else is there to expect? I move in on the 1st (Hairy Melons bday)! I just have to find some people to move my furniture, I'm not going to let my roommate's touch my things considering I have had some clothing items missing..

On the 20th X'clusive has been challenged to a dance off. I really hope I get to say YOU JUST GOT SERVED. My mother sent my pointe shoes in the mail and I am so excited to start getting back in dance. Last friday I choreographed a swing dance, 3 boys and 3 girls. Explains why I feel like I just ran over by a bus. We are doing so many flips. I can't wait to show all my friends what I've been up too. I also went into the studio last Friday and I'm going to help Sadelia record a song or two. I want to do Bidi bidi bom bom, hehe!

Halloween is getting closer and more close and I am thinking of going as Liza Manelli in Carabet! Speaking of dates, November 19th is coming up and I get to come home! I just need to see if Molly or Emily can pick me up. Airports and peanuts!!! Did I mention I work for H&M now?

hehe

I wonder if any people have used the techno version of Hava Nagila at their wedding's. I wonder how hard my fellow jews get down to that song. Just a thought.

I'm dancing more than I ever intended; I came to Chiacgo to act and I'm dancing instead. I can't complain because I'm in love with it.

^^Back when things in life couldn't have been going any better^^

Alright, I am extremely bitter. Lately everything I've been watching has taken part in Austin. I want to go home, I am bitter and cold. My lips are chapped and it's only October. I have a long way to go before this city warms up. I'd rather eat dog food or jump in Lake Michigan naked than live with the people I do now. Yeah, I'm a hater so what? My name is on the lease and I don't even have a say in anything. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck me. I can't even get a job here. I just want to be in a warm bed and watch Adventureland and listen to Gaslight Anthem or Page France (yes, i know very very different combo).

In other news, I auditioned for this dance group. I thought it was more musical theatrical and it isn't but I think I found my stress reliever. I'm choreographying a dance to "Jump, Jive and Wail", this should actually make me happy. Last night I did jump on stage with some other hunnies at the Vanilla Ice concert. I would have officially been cool if this happened like 10 years ago.

I used to live in a psyCHIC city I never knew what would happen in a day

Thanks Autolux for making my day more enjoyable than most





Today the city smelled like cocaine. I saw a dead bird and I ate some bad noodles. I spent 10 dollars on laundry. I made an appointment to find a new place to live. I'm in the process of cleaning my room. I spent 10 mintutes on making my bed, I don't know why. I think I've accepted things aren't ever going to be the same. I wish I could go back to second grade, running on the beach with Raquel. I remember singing Jennifer Love Hewits songs in her mothers heels and spending hours collecting miscellaneous knick knacks around the house to make our barbie dream house. I wish I had the luxury of my family on my side and my friends on the other. Things are different, phone calls seem to lessen and emails have stopped. Phew.

talk bout you woman

My best friend is in England while my other is in Austin, TX enjoying the cool weather. I miss home now more than ever. I saw "Whip It" last night and I couldn't help myself but get a little teary eyed when I saw Austin. How girly of me, I felt really stupid then. The connection was as if I gave birth to Austin and I can't get away. I truely can't. I'm on day 46 until I come home.

Don't you hate how much fucking time we have? I mean, we are always waiting for something. Our first pair of high heels, our sweet sixteen, our first kiss, our 21st, and some others and then we gotta wait for death. I'm going to skip the death sequence for the sake of my viewers. But back to what I was saying, we are always waiting. I sometime hate it but then again there are those times you can cherish those moments. I wish I had some moments to take home to me. Well I do have one from this weekend. I got free VIP tickets to see Juliette Lewis and the Licks and other bands from the movie Whip It. And after 15 mintutes of hanging out with her I get kicked out because I'm not 21. SJDNKJFLGNJDKFVN seriously!? I fucking hate Chicago for it's damn strict drinking age rules. If only things went they way they did for Bliss Carpender in Whip it for me when she announced how old she was. Well Juliette Lewis is a sweet girl, I love love love her style.

I can't help but complain about this weather! I don't mind SO much when it's just cold but this rain is killing me. I have yet to wait for an actual winter. (See what I'm talking about? I gotta wait for this winter). My roommates were talking about how they want to hold off on the heater until they absolutely need it. Um, yeah that isn't going to work for me. Like I've stated before I'm from Texas and I'm not going to freeze because our bill will get higher. Fuck I'll pay more. I need to do some garage shopping and get myself a bookshelf or/computer desk and a new Ipod. I used up all my space..

D 46 come faster!